Confusion and Idiocy
by blondelalonde
Summary: Karoumi is a boy with an odd secret. He is actually a she. Not only that, but she is the missing heir to a clan that perished in a fire five years ago. Now that she is, technically, a young woman, she struggles to keep BOTH of her secrets, well, a secret! Rated T because everything on my account is rated T omfg. R and R (no pairings yet but will prob change in the future oop)
1. Chapter 1

**HEY GUYS! ZOM HERE AGAIN AND READY FOR A NEW FANFIC! WE DIDNT HAVE CABLE OR INTERNET FOR A WHILE AND I ENDED UP WRITING FAN FICTION ON MY PHONE IN THE DARK FOR LIKE TWO DAYS. SO THIS IS THE DESTRUCTION I CAUSED.**

**BTW: I DONT OWN SHIT.**

****Chapter One-

My name is Karoumi. My real name is Kahime Hitseruki. But that girl died in a fire; along with her whole clan. I'm getting to far ahead of myself. Lets go back to that one night.

-five years ago-

I was ten. In fact, it was my tenth birthday. Father had been in meetings all morning and all night. Father was the head of the clan, and the strongest one in generations. He never let me train to be a ninja. Whenever I asked he always said: "Princesses don't fight. They have people fight for them."

That day, while Father was gone, Brother would secretly train me. So far, the only jutsu that I knew was the specialty of our clan.

For some reason, we thought of cats as Gods. We worshiped them and they assisted us in battle. I named my kitty Leo. The jutsu was to become one with the cat.

Anyway. Back to that night.

"Good job, Kahime!" Brother praised me on me winning our spar. He was only three years older than me. "Soon you'll be head of the clan! Maybe Hokage, as well!" I naturally laughed at his unrealistic prediction. "Yes. As soon as father lets me attend the academy!" I threw a small blade from my pouch his way. He dodged it with ease. In the midst of our playing, we heard screams and we froze. We turned from our hiding place in the high trees to see all of the clans land. On fire. "Stay he-" Brother started to say, but I was already half way to the village. He would never be able to catch up to me at the rate that I was going. "KAHIME!" I could hear his faint scream from behind, and ignored it. "KAH-ack!" That caught my attention.

I stopped.

Oh why did I stop.

I turned.

I really shouldn't have turned.

That was when I saw my own brother being slaughtered by multiple men. I didn't know what to do. I was just a little girl with no ninja training. So I did what any little girl would do. I ran.

I ran straight into the middle of the burning village. All I could hear were screams.

"FATHER? " I shrieked. "FATHER!"

There was no answer.

It took a minute before I realized that my dresses had caught on fire. The orange flames grew quickly, and soon licked up my chin. I screamed, virtually ripping the colorful cloth off of my body. The whole left side of my body was burning. From my toes to my lips. It wasn't aflame anymore, but the pain was too much for my small body. The dresses were of no use on the floor, so I slowly wrapped them around the worst points of the burns.

My lower face, my chest, and my left thigh.

I ran to the main house as fast as I could, ignoring the pain that begged my body to stop.

I ran into Brothers room first, grabbing as many things as I could. Which was his travel pack, his prized sword (which was the family heirloom, passed down from generation to generation) and his medical pack.

Something jumped onto my back and I almost screamed. It was only a very scared Leo. Poor kitten.

I then ran around the main house, it only having been aflame in few places. The pack that I took from Brother was on my back, while Leo clung to my leg. I screamed for Mother and Father, but I found no one.

When I returned outside, the fires had died down. All I saw were bloody, charred bodies. 'Oh god' I thought. "Brother!" I screamed aloud, sprinting to that spot in the forest.

He lay there, only half alive. There was so much blood. "Brother? Brother! Please.." I shook his shoulders until I saw his eyes open slightly. "Brother!" I cried, throwing my arms around his bloody frame. He winced but smiled down towards me as I sobbed. "They're dead! All of them! Mother, Father, everyone!" I hadn't realized that he was mumbling my name. I pulled back and watched his actions.

His hand slowly moved up towards hi Hidden Leaf head protector on his forehead, and pulled it off. He stared at it for a moment.

"Kahime..." He whispered to me. "Become... Hokage. St..ay alive." Brother then tied his head protector on my forehead. "M'sorry Kahi...me."

He died only minutes later.

That night, the Hitseruki clan perished. Along with their princess, Kahime.

That night, I became Karoumi. A boy with no parents or clan.

I attended the academy unexpectedly one day, two years after the fires. I waited after I healed enough, and found ways to cover my scars, before attending. Sensei introduced me to the class as a new student. They thought nothing of it. It was a rare thing to get new students, especially one in the graduating class, only two weeks before graduation!

Sensei warned me that it was okay if I wasn't able to pass along with all the others, considering that I had 'never had training before.'

My experience there wasn't swell. The boys made fun of my two long red braids that rested at the middle of my thighs. The annoyingly curious and coy girls started to develop crushes on me. Saying that I was shy and adorably mysterious. Like Sauske.

One time, this blonde kid, Naruto, I think, asked me very loudly, and rudely, why I was always so covered up. I could never tell him the real reason; that my clan died in a fire and I covered my scars. I merely shrugged off his question and went back to fiddling with the weapons in my weapon pouch.

Those days were terrible.

For some reason two weeks later, I passed! I was second to last in the class, but I still passed.

The kid with the worst grade was that Uzumaki kid. I dunno how, but he graduated too. From then on, I acted as a normal shinobi of the leaf. No one knew of my past, let alone my gender! I got assigned to a squad, I even made a friend.

But that didn't last long. About two years after joining my squads, both of my team mates died on a mission I couldn't go on, due to bad health. Sensei stayed home as well, caring after me since she knew I had no family. It was only the two of them. And they both died.

Sensei blamed herself. I blamed myself. But her guilt was worse. She took the cowards way out, on the morning of my teammates funerals.

Just like that...

I was alone again.

Lady Hokage never paired me up with anyone again. She knew that I wasn't able to trust another team after my whole team abandoned me in a matter of days. I was on my own for good.

And that's the reason why I'm in this situation now. Being chased by some guy in a black and red robe. My right shoulder was bleeding bad through my black mesh teeshirt and bindings.

I didn't know why I was running. I had grown strong over the year and a half of not being anywhere near the village. I only came back when someone sent for me. Which was almost never. They never bothered me, so I never bothered them.

This guy seemed off. His long blonde hair and weird robe scared me. What was even worse was the tounges sticking out of his HANDS.

Leo was still as small as ever, so he clung to my chest as I jumped from tree to tree, branch to branch.

"Beware my art!" I heard blondie yell. I snickered at the nickname, remembering my childhood enemy that I hadn't seen in years.

Suddenly, something exploded behind me, and I laughed up to the being floating on what looked like a giant-ass bird. "Sorry blondie! Yah missed!" I yelled up, not even bothering to use my more manly voice. It was an enemy that knew nothing of me.

Who cares?

I could barely see his smirk before my body started to feel heavy. 'Shit!' I mentally screamed as I lost my footing and started to fall from the high tree. 'It wasn't aimed for me! It wa..s poi...s...on...'

A look of shock never left my face as I fell. A layer of blood covered my head protector around my mouth, and my caramel skin.

Before I knew it I was seconds away from my death. The last thing I saw before closing my eyes was that dirty little blonde...take Brothers sword! I reached out desperately, letting out a shriek.

"NO!"

But it was too late.

He was gone. With Brothers sword.

And I was about to meet my death. Either from the fall, the blood loss, or that poison.

'F..Fuck.'

"Sor...ry Bro..."


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO BECAUSE I GOT BORED**

Chapter Two-

(Normal POV)

Team Kakashi was just on their way back from a mission. They weren't expected to be back for another week, but they finished early.

It was going to be another two days of traveling before they could see the beloved gates of their village.

Naruto walked slowly, his hands clasped behind his head as he sighed.

"Kakashi Sensei,"

He whined.

"Can we stop and take a brake? I'm real ti-"

Before he could finish what he wanted to say, his Sensei put up a hand, stopping them and their conversations in mid-stride. Naruto could tell by his face that he sensed danger.

The demon fox tensed when he heard a woman, or what sounded like one, scream 'No' It was a bloody curdling objection that could freeze anyone. Even Kakashi.

Naruto was the first to notice the body falling out of the sky at top speeds. The figure looked somehow familiar. The long red hair...the caramel skin...

"No..." Naruto began to say before his legs started moving on their own, running to catch his fellow ninja before she died a most painful death.

Sakura saw the blur of orange before seeing the ninja fall from the sky.

The blonde had to jump, his arms spread wide, to catch the girl; or..the girl that he thought was a dude. He skidded along the dirt, his head hung low as he caught his breath.

The girl could still feel the pain coursing through her. When her body came into Naruto's arms, she violently spit out blood, and the Hidden Lead head protector flew off, covered slightly in blood.

The damned thing landed in Naruto's hand. He gripped onto it tight as he looked down to his former class mate.

'What the fuck happened to his face?!'

'Was it always like that!?'

'Was that the reason why he was covered up so much?'

'... Are there more like this?'

Naruto was deep in thought, still having the head protector in a death grip when he heard Sakura run up to him and gasp.

"Isn't that... Karoumi!?"

The pinkette noticed all of the blood that started to stain Naruto's arms and shirt and gasped louder, taking the girl and sitting her down gently on the ground.

Naruto absentmindedly watched Sakura as she tried to save their once classmate. She got rid of any toxins left in the girls system and tried to close up the wound.

She ended up using a lot of chakara and almost collapsed. She stopped before she did, and the only thing she could really do was temporarily stop the bleeding.

The pinkette dressed the would carefully.

"He's alive. For now."

The two young ninjas stared up at their Sensei, silently asking him what they should do next.

"We'll stay in a hotel for a few days." He quietly answered their silent question, and they headed off to the nearest hotel.

Ironically, the 'nearest' hotel was at least two miles away from where they found Karoumi. Naruto was stuck with carrying her, since she was completely out of it.

It was no problem though, with Naruto simply saying:

"Not a problem! He's real light!"

Sakura could see something wrong with him, but said nothing.

They made it to the hotel in about twenty minutes, so night was just falling when they made it to their rooms.

Sakura had informed Naruto that he and the injured ninja would be sharing a room, since only three were available.

He didn't object, only nodding.

The blonde sat the red head down gently and sat down cris-cross at the door. He was about to get comfortable when he heard a groan come from Karoumi.

He was hesitant at first, but slowly got up and walked over to her, crouching down to inspect her.

She groaned again, her eyes slowly opening to see only a blur of blond fluffy hair.

At first, it looked like that dude with the explosives and she tensed, but her chocolate brown eyes scanned the boy, and realized that it wasn't her attacker.

Everything was so blurry to her. She couldn't see. So when she made her assumption and spoke it aloud, she truly though she was dead.

"He t...ook y-your sw...ord. I'm s-sorry Br...other."

The blondes eyebrow raised.

'Does he think I'm someone else or something?' He thought.

"I...ve f-fai...led you...as a sis..ter. "

His eyes blue widened at that.

"Sister?" He whispered to himself, almost silently.

Kaorumi heard him and smiled slightly, soon falling back into unconsciousness.

**THIS IS A HELL OF A LOT SHORTER THAN THE FIRST CHAPTER...**

**MY APOLOGIES **


	3. Chapter 3

**hi zom here with another chapter cause im bored but i have company so oop. **

**company is giraffe. she doesnt have a ff account but she is going to help me on fics when i have no inspiration... boom baby.**

**so anyway. enjoy this next chapter i guess**

**read and review bitches.**

**disclaimer: i dont own shit**

Karoumi awoke with a gasp, sitting up right almost too fast.

"Gah!" She exclaimed quietly, grabbing her injured shoulder as pain shot through her.

'Well.' She thought. 'At least I'm not dead.'

The female ninja looked at her surroundings. She was in a hotel room. All alone, for what she could see.

But really, a now wide awake Naruto sat in the shadows of the room, watching the other with curiosity.

Karoumi stood slowly, trying her best to not fall back down.

With shaky legs, she paced, thinking. She stopped suddenly, realizing she was only in a pair of boxer shorts, and a black t-shirt from her travel pack...

Travel pack!

"Where is it...?" She thought aloud.

Her eyes lit up, and a smile appeared on her face when she saw the green bag off to the side.

The ninja quickly walked over to it and rummaged through it. She jumped slightly when she felt something clawing at her bare foot.

The girl dismissed it when she saw the calico fur of Leo on her leg and continued to rummage.

Soon she pulled out a air of khaki shorts and a new mesh shirt.

The girl quickly threw on the shorts and took off the black t-shirt, soon replacing it with the mesh.

Naruto moved slightly, debating if he should stop the ninja but completely froze in place when the other tensed.

He saw as she clutched her shoulder with one hand, and started to pack up her things with her free hand.

She could feel the blood starting to ooze through her fingers.

Her wound opened.

"Goddamnit." She whined, cursing herself and her wounded body.

Removing the hand from the open gouge, she walked over from where se had risen to see her hidden leaf head protector.

The girl tied it around her lower face and lips, feeling much more secure.

Blood drops slowly started falling and she completely ignored them.

Karoumi picked up Leo and sat him on her shoulder with a sigh.

"We gotta go get Bro's sword back." She said softly to him. The calico kitten only tilted its head, looking at its master cluelessly.

Karoumi dragged her fingers through her loose braids, making them fall down into fluffy locks around her body. She pulled them back into a long pony tail.

It was time for stealth, not style.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. He had never heard that girl talk about family before. He shifted in the shadows, and then felt a pair of eyes on him.

Cat eyes.

Leo let out a hiss, which startled the secretly female ninja.

Karoumi followed the cats gaze to see an outline of a body in the darkness of the corner of the room.

"Who's there?"

Her voice hardened into a deep voice, an old habit.

Before the blonde had a chance to go up to the other, she collapsed suddenly, gripping her injured shoulder. Naruto's feet moved on their own, kneeling down and looking at her wound.

Karoumi was surprised when he appeared out of nowhere.

"Blondie?" She asked in her male voice, it cracking slightly. "What're you doin here? Where am I?"

"You idiot." Naruto hissed, ignoring the stupid nickname and her questions. "You can die from this much blood loss. You gotta rest, dude."

Her chocolate eyes widened.

"No!" She yelled at him, her voice faltering into her normal one. She pulled away from his grasp, her voice still high pitched and feminine.

"That guy with the red clouds on his robes took my broth- MY SWORD!"

At this new piece of information, Naruto's blue eyes widened and he grabbed hold of the girls scrawny shoulders, not caring that she was just about withering in pain.

"What did you say?" His voice was cold and his eyes were scary.

Her voice stuttered, not even bothering to keep up the act anymore. It was obvious that he knew. "T-the guy with the r-red clouds on h-his cloak?" Naruto's eyes narrowed as he muttered something that the girl that was practically being squeezed to death couldn't hear.

He let go of her shoulders and she let out a sigh of relief, sinking fully to the floor while the blonde stood and stormed from the room. She tightly gripped her shoulder. Karoumi blankly stared out the door that Naruto had just left out of, not even realizing that three steps of footsteps were quickly approaching the room.

She snapped out of it when she heard Naruto yelling loudly.

"He said that a man with a red and black cloak attacked him! It has to be the Akatsuki! He also said something about him taking his sword! Kakashi-Sensi, what does all of this mean?!" Soon they all stormed in and stared blankly back towards the girl.

Sakura was the first to come to her senses, seeing all of the blood. Without a word she rushed to the injured shinobi's side, examining the new, and crappy, bandage job done by Naruto. She rolled her green eyes slightly before she redid the bandages.

Kakashi's eye narrowed towards the mysterious ninja as he walked towards her and knelt in front of her. He gave his two team mates a look and they nodded simultaneously, walking out and closing the door.

The team leaders kind eyes turned to a glare in a matter of seconds.

Karoumi returned it almost instantly, her chocolate eyes narrowing and darkening.

He spoke.

"You have some explaining to do."

**yes shortest one so far **

**fight me**

**anyway i a LITTLE help with this from giraffe. she doesnt have an account. yet. :D**

**anyway i dedicate this chapter to giraffe.**

**that little bitch**

**r+r**

**bye peasants.**


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